Rethinking the Box: The Eight Types of Bookseller
Numerous readers of the now infamous post that I’d like to respectfully put aside as there are other things worth talking about on the internet have sarcastically commented something-along-the-lines-of “Well, let’s post the seven types of bookseller, that’d show him, Har Har Har. And then we can tell him which type he is, the snarky bastard, hoist ‘im on his own petard and all that.”
To date, no one has posted the seven types of bookseller.
I feel this is because they
1. lack the requisite experience: Shopping at a bookstore and knowing anything at all about the bookselling business are two separate and totally different things. Like, on different continents kind of different.
2. don’t know what makes bookselling different from other retail: Anyone, just about, can run a register or stock shelves. We don’t expect them to know the difference between Hegel and Heidegger, or between Palladio (an architect) and the Palatine (just a hill, but with significance) — unless of course they work at a bookstore.
3. don’t even pay attention at their local bookstore: We’re all interchangable drones, equally competent (or incompetent, depending on your POV)
4. are just talking out of their ass. “Oh yeah, well… There are seven types of bookseller too, Mr. Blind. You’re nothin’ special. quit pickin’ on me. [*sob*]”
You don’t have the knowledge, experience, frame of reference, or the right to post a “seven types of bookseller”
…and you’re lucky I’ve all four — and a sense of humour.
The EIGHT types of booksellers:
Students.
Some of the students are still in high school, even — students are a core part of any retail work force; their salary expectations are low and their work hours (by necessity) are flexible — they can’t work during the day [classes, natch] but we’re open all hours and a large chunk of our evening staff is going to be students.
Students have some advantages: they are open to learning, the knowledge gleaned from classes usually contributes to their ability to help customers, at the college level they tend to be marginally smarter than the customer base; and they work for cheap.
They lack experience, so a manager has to be more aware and more ‘on task’ when herding a gaggle of students, but an actual dust-up with customers is rare. And they rarely make the same mistake twice. The students I’ve hired (with only one exception) have all been keepers — the only drawback is that eventually, they graduate, and get ‘real’ jobs.
Slackers.
A Slacker looks a lot like a student… just a tad older. And without the urge to graduate.
For some folks in retail, even if they otherwise claim grand goals & ambitions, it just never works out. A part time job becomes the only job.
It’s hard to say who will become a slacker, or why they stay in a low-paid retail job when other opportunities beckon, just out of reach.
A slacker isn’t doing a bad job, per se; or at least, not so bad a job that I’d fire them — they do just enough to get by. Customers who have to deal with slackers may feel vaguely put out, but not like they were slighted. They’re just a tad disappointed — like maybe someone else would have known the 15th century French poet, that starts with a P, or maybe an N? if only… Not that another bookseller would have known, but a slacker is quick to shut a customer down if there isn’t an actual question in the offing: “I’m sorry, I can’t find that. Is there anything else I can help with?”
As a manager, the trick is to pair slackers with other employees on a shift, or if there isn’t the opportunity for that, to make sure slackers don’t work long shifts by themselves.
Librarians.
The bookstore isn’t a library.
Let me repeat that: The Bookstore Isn’t a Library
There is an overlap in the public perception (“you both have books, don’t you?”) and yes, in fact, we both have books
But the goals are vastly different. One is a conservator of Knowledge, looking to preserve Ideas and to make the same accessible to the public — to ensure that the Wisdom needed by the public to participate in both the general discourse and the proper functioning of democracy is available to all regardless of financial means or education —
And the bookstore is looking to make a buck.
We’ll make a buck off of your ignorance if we have to.
When staffing a bookstore, of course we look for people who love books, but occasionally we’ll come across (and hire) a librarian by mistake. Librarians love books, and up to a point they make excellent booksellers, but for a bookstore the needs of the sale come before the books themselves. We need mercenaries, not librarians. Nothing in the store is sacred, every book is up for sale — the whole of global learning and culture, the sum of human experience, is just a feature we offer for purchase, with a cup of coffee.
That isn’t to say that a librarian is a bad bookseller: they know more than most and can provide excellent customer service. We just have to train them to adjust their mindset a bit.
Idiots.
Occasionally someone makes it through the interview process with all the boxes checked, with the right references, seemingly proficient and personable enough that hell, I’d hire them.
Only after a week or so, do I realize: they’re an idiot.
Idiots proliferate in every workplace; just good enough to get hired, apparently ‘getting hired’ is their only skill. We’d like to fire them, but it’s a litigious world out there and to fire anyone, even a corpse, it takes time. (“I realize you’ve been dead for three weeks, but as this is our fifth time revisiting this topic, I feel those circumstances are no longer a reasonable exemption for your recent drop in performance — this is your last warning; if we don’t see improvement I’m afraid we’ll have to let you go.”)
I apologize if you’ve had to deal with an Idiot. It’s hard to fire anyone, even idiots. The most we can do is correct them (multiple times a day, often) and hope that corporate legal lets us fire them soon.
Your Mom.
Ha ha. “Your Mom” is a punchline to so many jokes, you likely think I’m making funny.
No, in fact, given the need to staff a storefront for 14 hours a day, we hire quite a few atypical employees, some of whom can only work, say, from 9am to 3pm, while their kids are in class. If I’m lucky, I can also con them into working a weekend shift. And if I can hire your Gramma, that’s even better — unless she needs to babysit the grandkids, her schedule is wide open and actually, she looks forward to the engagement with customers and the opportunity to do something outside of the house.
I’ll hire Your Mom any day of the week. And I’ll ‘put her to work’ in as much as I’ll, um, put her to work. I like your mom, she’s one of my better employees.
Booksnobs.
Booksnobs are to bookstores like mold is to bread. If you sell books, you’re going to get booksnobs even if you don’t hire them to run the store. Turn your back, and they’re there.
In the best case with a booksnob, you’ve a passionate employee who knows the stock and can sell it.
In the worst case, you’ve an employee who knows everything but is so busy being a snob they can’t be bothered to deal with customers. — Just so you know: We fire people like that. We’re not snobs at the bookstore, we’re mercenaries. We take your money. That’s what we do, and we like it.
If you read the ‘seven types of bookstore customer’ and somehow came away with the impression that we hate money, let me disabuse you of that now: Bookstores want your money, even if you’re an idiot. That’s the retail business, and we’ll work doubly hard, especially if your an idiot, to separate you from you money, and we’ll have you thank us for doing it
That’s our job. Some of us are good at it.
Lifers.
Maybe they like retail. Maybe they like books. Maybe they’ve just exhausted other options, and have ended up at the bookstore.
Maybe they started with other retailers, but are now running a bookstore because we hired them for their retail expertise and have taught them bookselling in the interim.
Maybe they really like books and have been with the company for years, even before they graduated from college, and are still here because book selling is a calling for them.
They know the job. They know the product, and our shelving system, and all the tricks and hiccups in the computer search software, and the local market, and hell: odds are good they also know (first or second hand) what book was just on Oprah.
Booksellers like these are worth their weight in gold. Unfortunately, there aren’t quite enough of these mythical booksellers to staff the store all the time. If you show up 15 minutes before we close, you just might get a Slacker or an Idiot. I can’t say that’s my fault; you could try visiting the store during the other 90 hours a week that we’re open.
What do you want at 10:30PM on a Saturday? And why is your unreasonable expectation [every other retailer has been closed for a half hour — or for four hours] suddenly my fault?
Me.
So maybe there are only seven types of bookseller.
Fine.
…but then there’s me.
Not only do I know enough to do the job, I think about it on my own time.
I’m someone who is studied in history, philosophy, literature, classics, and current events; who can spell mis-pronounced titles in English, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Latin, or even Japanese, who knows the difference between Hegel and Heidegger, or between neoclassical Palladian architecture and the classical palaces of Palatine hill. I can direct you to one of the one hundred thousand different items, and I can do it all before breakfast. Where are you going to find an expert on Shakespeare, Sci-Fi, history, sociology, psychology, mythology…
Heck, I was a physics major; you’d need real skills to trip me up on science and math…
You’d be lucky to have me on a team for Bar Trivia.
You should be so lucky as to shop at my store.
##
I know tens of thousands of internet readers saw the ‘seven types’ post. Despite all those who sarcastically said there should be the same for booksellers, no one bothered to follow up.
I think about my job every day. I don’t just show up. I don’t just go through the motions. Sure, it’s retail: but retail isn’t a condemnation of my character or a limitation on my goals. It’s business. And apparently, I think more about my business than all of you.
I know my staff at least as well as I know my customer base. I don’t expect an acknowlegement from the detractors, but I hope at the very least (unless you have something to contribute) you’ll shut the hell up.
Some consideration of the skills needed of your local bookseller, especially considering the typical tenor of your stoopid questions, is all I ask.
This isn’t the grocery store. Kindly recognize that we’ve skills, and they’re skills you rely on.
And yes, the Omphalos at Delphi is part of the genesis of my screen name. But it was also the name of a ship I really liked in PKD’s <em>The Unteleported Man</em>, which I think these days also goes by <em>Lies, Inc.</em>
Comment by Omphalos — 28 June 2009, 23:47 #
Matt, I thought both articles were excellent examinations of both the customer and the person selling to the customer. I think you’re more correct than most people feel comfortable with.
Comment by Kenny Cather — 29 June 2009, 13:43 #
I could not help but notice that while your article about bookstore customers was almost without exception Condescending, insulting and Derogatory towards the customers, Your article about booksellers was without exception praising in regard to the booksellers.
Despite your claim that you like bookstore customers you can not deny your article was frought with negative “Attitude” while this one wasn’t.
In your experience is there no such thing as a book seller that is a Jerk, and A-hole or just plain rude? Because I have met many of them.
Comment by Spiff — 29 June 2009, 20:55 #
I have met jerky and plainly rude booksellers.
One of the things I have to do at my job is sit them down, discuss their behavior toward customers, stress the need to act professionally while at work, and put all that in writing. It goes on their ‘permanent record’ as it were.
If they keep it up, and don’t show any improvement, I have to fire them.
If a customer is jerky and rude, I don’t get the same opportunity to talk with them and attempt to correct their behavior. And I don’t get to ‘fire’ a customer. Instead I have to smile and be polite, and occasionally apologize, even though it is the customers fault.
That’s a bit more frustrating.
— oh, and I described booksellers above as slackers, snobs, and idiots. What part of that is praise, again?
Comment by Matt Blind — 30 June 2009, 00:18 #
I ammend my comment, the idiot you did not praise. My mistake.
However
A slacker isn’t doing a bad job, per se; or at least, not so bad a job that I’d fire them
In the best case with a booksnob, you’ve a passionate employee who knows the stock and can sell it.
My point is that with all the customers you had very little possitives.
With the sellers you had all possitives with the exception of the ‘idiot’
I’m just saying that your articles are very biased.
Comment by Spiff — 30 June 2009, 02:14 #
Yep. Biased. Guilty as charged.
That’s why the articles are posted here, to my blog, and weren’t sold to a magazine or published in a newspaper or even uploaded to someone else’s site.
and I don’t mind repeating myself, since this conversation is all over the place — four or five articles with a bunch of comments: this is from my comment (#9) on the first followup post
Kristi (comment #8) posted:
“I think the thing people are reacting negatively to is that you don’t seem to like ANY of your customers. There’s no category you approve of. Maybe the homeless people who only stay for a short time, you seem okay with them. But what really seems odd, is that you do have a label for the kind of customer who doesn’t ask you dumb questions or waste your time or abuse the store’s services…but then you get all huffy that they don’t want to chat with you.”
and I replied:
* I love books, always have.
* I like my job. I do. I’ve been at it for 8 years now.
* I like browsers. They know what they like and require minimal guidance.
* I like most seekers, as well: I might come off as snooty and condescending, particularly in the post before this one, but if you know what book you want and I can help you find it in store, that’s great. It’s what I’m paid to do.
[there are some qualifiers that I could lard onto that, but I’ll save it for another post]
* Grazers are usually fine, so long as there is enough room to walk around them. And they buy coffee, so that’s good.
* Campers are usually fine. And they buy coffee. What bugs me is the sense of ownership some take towards the store and our furniture, but that’s OK, too. At least I know they like the place.
* Even someone with a list of books — seven or eight reading list titles, for example, that might take 10 or 15 minutes out of my day, doesn’t qualify as a time-suck. If I can help them, or order it for them, that’s fine. Call them an UberSeeker, maybe, and a handful of books is a great sale.
There. A few nice things about customers. I prefer the sarcastic, biting tone of the original, though — as it drives the point home.
Comment by Matt Blind — 30 June 2009, 02:52 #
I think one major reason this feels less harsh is simply that they’re both from your perspective, and your interaction with the other booksellers/your employees is generally more positive than your interaction with customers. For instance the “Your Mom” category – the main positive thing you have to say is that she’ll work and she likes customer interaction (especially if she’s actually Your Grandma). That’s not like you’re lauding her to the skies; but she doesn’t cause you problems or frustrations, whereas almost every type of customer can and does do that. So naturally you come off harsher about the customers. If someone actually did get off their butt and make a customer-oriented list of booksellers, it would probably be harsher (simply because they’re having a more confrontational, demanding interaction). Although that person is definitely not me – although I’m a customer, I definitely recognize your types – I think that’s the key difference. Both lists are in terms of their relation to you (as it should be – it’s your blog) rather than one being customers-as-viewed-by-staff and one staff-as-viewed-by-customers. They aren’t mirror images.
Comment by Comfect — 30 June 2009, 13:10 #
(Quote)I prefer the sarcastic, biting tone of the original though—as it drives the point home(UnQuote)
It also makes you sound like a Jerk. Hence the negative reactions.
Comment by Spiff — 30 June 2009, 18:18 #
Booksellers have ongoing relationships with their colleagues; customers are, most of the time, one night stands. Hence the being more forgiving of workmates quirks. If Spiff and other commenters are dissatisfied with the above, they could write a customer POV article about those bad booksellers.
Me, I’m a bookseller myself so I’d tend to agree with Matt Blind, a lifer on a good day, a slacker on a bad one.
Comment by nessreader — 1 July 2009, 16:09 #
nessreader
I am well aware that there are bad customers. That’s true with any kind of store not just book stores. There are also bad sellers in any kind of store.
I am not “Disatisfied with the above”. As Mr. Blind has said, this is his blog and he can pretty much say what he wants. That’s what blogs are for I suppose.
I am mearly pointing out that putting those kinds of statements on the web can make one sond like a whiny jerk. I am not saying that Mr. Blind IS a whiny jerk just that he sounds like one in his article about customers. And these kind of statements will generate negative responses. What bugs me is the way in which Mr. Blind seemed to be totally surprised by these negative responses to his negative statements.
If he did not want negative responses then he chose the wrong medium.
Comment by Spiff — 1 July 2009, 19:20 #
if any of it really bothered me, I could delete the negative comments, or even go so far as to delete the original post.
I’m pretty thick-skinned, actually, and I’ve a fair sense of humor, and am pretty agnostic about it all.
Obviously, I invite comments (since there is a comment function) but the beautiful thing about the web is that one can also comment to one’s own space, with a link to material. — in fact, the vast majority of readers first discovered this blog by reading about it [with commentary, both good and bad] on someone else’s site.
What surprises me is the number of people who feel compelled to comment here, like I posted this to a public forum or on their website. The original post, and this one, constitute My Opinion on these topics and if I’m so inflammatory or offensive or outright wrong — then why did you read it?
There must be something true in it, or no one would have linked. None would have commented. No one would have bothered to read the post all the way to the end. (and certainly, if the overwhelming response was all negative, that’d be one thing, too, but what of those who posted in agreement or support?)
I’m guilty of bias; I suppose I’m guilty of posting flame-bait, too. Fine.
But the internet is all about bias and flame bait — which internet have you been reading?
My objection to negative comments is like a host objecting to guests pissing on the carpet: sure, there’s nothing wrong with the behavior per se, it’s fine in context — but there is a forum for that sort of thing and most people do it behind closed doors, & at home.
One could slander my character and rebuff all my points and arguments or tear apart my ‘arguments’ as plainly false on their face and question my suitability for my job (or any job) or even wonder aloud how long it will be before my neighbors band together to remove me as a blight to the community —
I’d just ask that you not do it on my blog, and to me that’s just as sensible as a host asking people to stop pissing on his living room rug.
The proper html is <a href=“http://www.rocketbomber.com”>THIS GUY SUCKS ASS!</a> (or your own pithy commentary) and you can post it to a web forum, or a social networking site, or to a blog of your own devising, where you pay the registration fees and hosting out of your pocket.
Just stop asking me to pay for and support your negativity. Just because it’s the internet doesn’t make it free, and I get the bill for this site.
[‘you’, the indefinite second person pronoun, used as a shorthand and as a convenience; No offence intended toward Spiff, who has been thoughtful and civil — and constructive — for a couple of days now]
Comment by Matt Blind — 1 July 2009, 22:13 #
That last bit is worth posting to the main page — and since this is my blog (and to belabour the analogy) *I* can get pissed all I want and ruin the carpets at my leisure.
bump
Comment by Matt Blind — 1 July 2009, 22:56 #
I have a bad habit of reacting with my gut first then after I’ve thought about it for an hour or so I realize how I could have said things better. that is what happened with my very first comment. Sorry.
Your analogy about a guest pissing on his hosts carpet is not bad but it only works up to a certain point. A blog on the internet is in fact an open forum. By creating this blog you have in effect(And I’ll borrow your analogy here) Opened your front door and invited anyone and everyone who happens to pass by inside for their opinion and they will give you that opinion agree or disagree. Some of them vehemently and some quite rudely(And I have little patience with them as well) It can be pretty tough on the carpeting.
My problem with your article about customers is you seem to be generalizing every bookstore customer into these seven categories. Now I happen to love books. I could quite literally spend all day in a good bookstore, and have! I guess that puts me in the browser category. But I dislike being categorized. So maybe I took it a bit personally. Although I have never worked in retail I seriously doubt that every person who comes into a bookstore falls into one of those seven categories. How many hundreds of customers does a large chain get in just one day?
I do know that a very verbal minority of any group usually gets the most attention. Not all conservative republicans are opinionated jackasses but if the only ones who get attention are people like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, then you might make that assumption.I understand that you are just giving your opinion, but then so are we. Like I have said and you have said as well, If you don’t want our opinions then you can just disable your comment feature. To carry on with your analogy, this IS your living room and you can close the door and just have us all look in the window.
Comment by Spiff — 2 July 2009, 14:02 #
I am loathe to delete individual comments, or to close commenting generally, and while I occasionally engage commentors of all stripes I am mostly content to leave it alone. The comments (with only one exception I can think of, and that was two years and another blog ago) don’t add anything to the original post, but neither do they detract.
Current settings (if I recall correctly) will automatically close commenting on each post after 90 days. (maybe 60 days, I forget what I set it to)
If I can stretch an already strained metaphor:
Yeah, not only is the front door open, but I’m hosting a keg party, and friends of friends of friends have put the word out and all sorts of folks who’d I’d never invite myself are showing up. I know I’ll have to rent a steam cleaner and give the poor, much-abused carpet a deep cleanse later — and that’s only from the foot traffic, not necessarily from drunken razy bastards who mistake my area rugs for a urinal.
It’s fine. It gets a bit out of hand, but it’s a party… and I not so old that I hate a party.
I’m just reminding folks that they should mind the furniture (and the carpet) and that it’s not too late for the neighbors (or myself) to call the cops.
Fun is fun, but ‘fun’ for some is not fun to be had by all. Mind the gap.
Comment by Matt Blind — 2 July 2009, 22:13 #
Matt:
There are people who buy bookstores because they think, “If this was run in a business-like manner, it would be a sure money maker.” Then they apply standard business practices and marketing approaches. They usually sell out cheap or close out within a year.
Comment by Tao Tie — 7 July 2009, 20:01 #
Everyone, consumers and retail employees, should read “Pretending You Care: The Retail Employee Handbook” by Norm Feuti. He draws a comicstrip called “Retail” (think “Dilbert” in a store) and uses that and his retail experience in telling the truth about customers and employees.
Yes, the truth hurts. You may be one of the few wonderful customers I love to help. But there are so many others who Haven’t Got A Clue.
(And I’m #8. Not as learned as Mr. Blind, but a polymath who spends too much time reading Wikipedia. Librarian, retailer, seducer of the innocent, passionate, and sometimes I slack a little (doing just enough to get by).)
Comment by Torsten Adair — 29 July 2009, 20:55 #