Rocket Bomber - snark

Org Chart

filed under , 6 March 2013, 13:48; byline — Matt Blind

Chairwoman/Founder
Yeah, she owns this shit.

CEO Chief Executive Officer
This is your boss.

COO Chief Operational Officer
This is also your boss, and the one who knows how the logistics chain works.

CCO Chief Creative Officer
The CCO is your boss, but only if you use a Mac, know photoshop, and don’t have to wear a tie to work.

CTO Chief Technology Officer
The CTO is not your boss, but you wish she was. They get to play with all the cool stuff down there – well, until it breaks, and then it’s hell-on-18-wheels for 60 straight hours until you finally get it fixed.

CFO Chief Financial Officer
From the day you are first hired your goal is to get some kind of dirt on the CFO so you can claim Hawaiian vacations and Vegas junkets as fully-refundable “vitally important conferences on the future viability of our industry”. Also: the CFO is probably the only one who knows which side to bet on in the eventual IPO or sale of the company. *Do Not Cross*

General Counsel or CLO Chief Legal Officer
weasel.

Senior Vice Presidents
Used to be your boss, but they got a new title and a pay raise and now they seemingly don’t do squat anymore except drop into your department twice a year, are present at endless meetings at corporate, and [if you’re lucky and blackmailing your CFO] you’ll run into them at those Hawaii and Vegas conferences.

VP of [insert geographic region, business segment, core operational function, or Special Strategic Project]
Your Boss. It’s not that work gets done at this level, but this is where the reports are generated that describe the work that is being done. *note: the reports are actually researched and written by plebes much further down, but the VP’s office is where they are ‘generated’

Junior Vice President
ignorable. That said: if they offer you this job, step over the rapidly-cooling corpses of your peers to take it, as it’s a nice paycheck, cushy office, little responsibility, and easily delegatable duties and assignments. Just remember: when the stock takes a nosedive and corporate is looking at layoffs, yours is the only name on the list.

Spokesman, Media Liason, Corporate Communications Director, SVP for Communications and Public Affairs, et al.
The job title varies depending on how long one stays in the role and how good you’ve been at it, but it’s all the same: Mouthpiece. Damage Control. Shaping and Spinning the Message. Often this is just some JVP who has to write boring (intentionally boring, bonus if it can also be misleading and obfuscatory) press releases, but this one junior flack often has more influence on the daily stock price than anyone except the Chairman/Founder/CEO.

Regional Directors, District Offices, “Field” Management, Corporate Trainers & “Regional Training Managers”
oh god. For those of you working in corporations that have this many levels of management hanging over your head: oh god, I’m so sorry you poor, dumb bastard.

Branch Management & Store Managers
Well, this is where the work gets done and the money is actually made: Responsible for everything – but unable to change anything.

Department Manager [store level]
enjoy that extra $1 an hour.

employee

SO: all this corporate baggage and “strategery” and “long term” and reports and graphs and power point presentations mean exactly jack.

No matter how much you think SVPs and VPs and JVPs and RMs and DMs and corporate initiatives and “sales focus” and contests and merchandising updates and stock re-lays and new products and ALL THAT CRAP matters

…it comes down to your lowest-level smallest-cog front-line employee.

Is this person a full-time employee with appropriate product knowledge, a generally engaging demeanor, and both the experience and training to handle your day-to-day business — or, just-kind-of-imagining-a-worst-case-scenario here — has the company’s endless quest to “control costs” meant that your primary customer interface is now a student working part time (with no hope of promotion, or of ever going full-time with benefits) who just wants to get through the damn 6pm-11pm shift and go home so they can [study/get drunk/get laid/sleep/get back to coding that app that’s going to be a 7-figure IPO/blog/do laundry/pick-any-three]?

*special shout-out and congrats to those of you who parsed that last sentence: you’re my peeps.

Please remember, corporate America: To the vast majority of the public you are nothing – the corporation is often invisible unless it happens to share a name with the brand. Your Whole Company is in the hands of a part-timer earning minimum wage – and this poor sod is as invested in your success as you are invested in them.

That is to say: the outlook isn’t good. Much of corporate America is so very, very fucking lucky Unions are out-of-vogue and largely impotent, because there hasn’t been this strong of a catalyst for unions since 1880.



Everything old is new again, if you wait long enough, and we're talking about dance videos.

filed under , 2 March 2013, 20:23; byline — Matt Blind

So the Simpsons are showing up late to a trend, attempting to seem still-culturally-relevant in an age of viral video, near-simultaneous reblogging and linkbait, and a perpetually hip weberatti that’s much too hip to keep up with a show that’s only on broadcast television and only updates once a week:

Seen in that light, this could be called lame (has been called out as such in many corners online)

Ah.

But note Bart.

In his Bart-Man costume.
Doing the Bart-Man.

Viral video. Dance crazes. Taking over the broadcast platform.

Oh my yes, the “Homer Shake” is a blatant ripoff in a play for continued cultural relevancy — but who, exactly, is ripping off whom?



So here's what I think about a proposed minimum wage increase

filed under , 13 February 2013, 14:07; byline — Matt Blind

So this graph shows up on Reddit:

…from some smarty-pants who took Econ 101 and thinks the minimum wage is a bad idea. Nothing wrong with the math, or the graph, or the economics (necessarily) – but it posits that any proposed minimum wage increase (or any minimum wage at all) is necessarily going to be above the actual market price for labor.

Here, let me fix that for you:

IF wages were, I don’t know, being artificially suppressed by evil corporations attempting to maximize profits (a practice they engage in while Also keeping current wages stagnant and simultaneously demanding even more productivity ‘gains’ from already overworked employees) then, surprise, we would still be seeing artificially-induced unemployment.

The redditor used this for his post headline, “Dear Mr. President: price floors create surpluses. Raising the minimum wage = raising the cost of employment = you’re killing jobs. I know you don’t think laws apply to you, but—like gravity—the laws of economics are true whether you believe in them or not.”

Dear redditor & folks who agree with him: Employers unwilling to pay market rates for labor = people who need work but won’t work a crap job for a crap wage = jobs that go begging.

Take the agricultural industry: The only way they can fill the job for the wage they’re willing to pay is to take advantage of the most desperate, i.e. illegal immigrants, who will live in poverty and even put up with abuse for a few dollars they can send home to their families. If picking crops paid $15 an hour, college students who needed the money would spend their time off of school in the fields. Heck, some might skip class for a week to pick, given that harvest seasons are (necessarily) short.

Food would be more expensive, you say? I thought we believed in letting market forces determine prices, not in using policy decisions (a workforce of illegal immigrants is a government policy choice, one that is being debated now) to artificially manipulate markets?

The ‘Price Ceiling’ in this case is not an absolute requirement imposed upon the entire economy by the government, it has become a tenet taught in business schools and uniformly adopted by every employer. Because they can. Because they’re bastards, and money matters more than people.


[chart source]

I think a minimum wage increase is overdue. Yeah, so prices for some goods and services would go up. Fine. Let them go up. I’ll pay an extra buck for that unhealthy fast food hamburger, and I’d also be fine if there wasn’t a dramatic price difference between food grown on massive industrial farms and fruits and vegetables that are grown locally and sustainably. And why would aggregate food prices have to go up when there is plenty of money and corporate profits could come down?

Agriculture is only one industry, but the one most reliant on the cheapest unskilled labor. Say what you want about burger-flippers, fry cooks, cashiers, shelf stockers, and warehouse workers – the skills involved are not valued, but they are still skills. Look down on your janitor all you want, but he knows how to do his job. The guy working the line at the neighborhood bar and grill likely has a more technical (and more impressive) skill set than the bozos who sit in offices and bet on stocks all day.

I think a minimum wage increase is overdue, because I also think wages have been artificially kept low for at least two decades for no other reason than corporate greed, the pursuit of profits, and the need for some at the top to make the rest of us miserable. I don’t know, maybe it is only possible to enjoy millions of dollars of personal wealth if you can live in the high castle and look down on the pain and suffering of those less fortunate?



Internet Anchorites

filed under , 30 January 2013, 20:27; byline — Matt Blind

On the full scale that encompasses “hikkikomori”, “hermit”, “introvert”, “normal” and social butterfly, let me introduce one more complication:

Internet Anchorite.

Can one seal oneself off from the world, and only interact through a small window?

Damn right.

That window these days is a browser. The whole world, in a sense.
Does that make the desperate need to withdraw any less?

Why would someone seal themselves off from normal human contact and only treat with the world at arms-length (or the much greater length of an internet connection)?

Do the walls, actual or figurative, make the anchorite feel more secure? Does the separation make the contacts that are permitted or ‘allowed’ somehow more precious, even as they are necessarily limited by what the anchorite allows?



Rocket Bomber Special: 2012 Holiday Gift Guide!

filed under , 17 December 2012, 13:11; byline — Matt Blind

PLEASE do me a favor: DON'T pick out any gifts for your loved ones. Don't buy the book you know they'll love, DON'T get that one gadget you know they've been droping hints about for the last six months, DON'T even bother with gift cards.

You’re going to pick wrong.

I absolutely guarantee you’re going to pick wrong — just like you did last year, just like you’ve done for many, many years. Everyone has just been too polite to say anything.

And then I have to spend days of my life, after the holidays, doing nothing but processing returns. At least once an hour I’ll be asked, “Can’t I just get cash back?”

And sadly, the answer is no.

So let’s all agree: The Perfect Gift Is an Envelope Full of Cash.

I’d love to get cash. Anyone aged 14-28 would definitely prefer cash. Do a gut check: what do you want? Sure, that surprise gift, the exact right thing is great when it comes from the one person in your life (spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend) but for everyone else?

I say: If you’re not sleeping with them, they just get cash.


[If you are sleeping with them, this seems appropriate]

Imagine the time you’ll save. Imagine the lack of stress. If you think cash is too impersonal, put the cash envelope inside of a tin of home-made cookies. That would be fantastic because, c’mon, *cookies* AND *cash*! That would be a holiday gift I’d be talking about for decades. The folks in the retirement home will be sick of hearing about it.


[cash is even traditional in some cultures]

So do yourself a favor. Do your loved ones a favor. Most Importantly, take the pressure and the hassle away from the poor retail clerks who have to process all those damn returns for clothes and other crap gifts: Just give cash this holiday.

Thank you for you time and polite consideration. And I’ll be back in 2013 to repeat this message in RocketBomber’s next Holiday Gift Guide!

##

image credits:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beglen/157929769/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashevillein/2421648773/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/10899777@N02/1250836095/



Mind the Gap

filed under , 12 October 2012, 22:50; byline — Matt Blind

Mind the Gap: The Generation that Came of Age between 9 November 1989 and 11 September 2001. The Promise of Peace, Wealth, Cooperation, and Understanding that was Tossed Aside by Cold Warriors Desperate for a New War, the World the Old Generation Re-Made, and the Full Appreciation of What Our Nascent Global Community Lost in the Months Following 9-11.”

I don’t have time to write the book with that title now. But there was an excellent discussion at the bar this evening, when one patron came in having recently watched Argo, and attempted to explain/describe the historical setting to another patron whose father just so happened to emigrate from Iran to the United States in 1979. It was all friendly; we’re good souls down at the pub. But in attempting to integrate the feelings and opinions of my fellows at the bar, placing it in historical context, while simultaneously taking into full consideration how our perception of events in Iran in 1979-80 have been fully transformed by the recent shenanigans in Iraq and Afghanistan, it occurred to me that my own personal viewpoint was uniquely informed.

While I was in high school and at university, my worldview had to take in the end of the cold war and a cessation of hostilities: Peace — if not actual, than palpable and almost within out collective grasp.

I entered college with a sense of hope, an international mindset, an open mind and heart when it came to global entities, and a hunger to cash in on new global opportunities. We all learned a second language. The EU was proving that even Germany and France could get along in this new world, and the Russians were the biggest capitalists of them all. [Ayn Rand would have absolutely loved 21st century Russia]

And then some asshole had to go and ruin the new dream, before it could really gain traction. No, not the asshole you’re thinking of: one madman destroyed a couple of buildings in New York. A Crime, a Heinous Crime — and perhaps deserving of the end he met. No, instead that tragedy was used as an excuse to start a ill-conceived ‘war’ — a war, that as defined, will in fact be never-ending. Until all discontent on the planet is abolished, there will always be a “war on terror”, but every military effort taken to quell discontent only breeds more tragedy, more extremists, and more events like 9-11.

This is the perfect outcome for some: a war that cannot be ended with something as simple as the collapse of a superpower.

My Cohorts and I, who once glimpsed the promise of world peace, world cooperation, and global opportunity [capitalist opportunities!] in the 1990s will eventually grow and come to positions of power as older generations die off. I hope we will not be too jaded in our old age, or that we forget the promise of our youth (or willingly abandon it).

There was an asshole, backed by powerful corporate interests and at least one major political party, who took every positive thing that came with the end of the cold war, and wiped his ass with it

— to please his military-industrial base, to mask the continuing problems at home by getting everyone — domestic supporters and foreign allies alike — to “rally behind the flag” and basically making a shit-sandwich of world affairs and forcing everyone to take a big bite.

##

The Promise was squandered. Reagan railed in Berlin, “Tear Down This Wall!”

And we did.

And it might have been great.

Mind the Gap.



Price Tags. Opportunity Cost.

filed under , 27 February 2012, 12:30; byline — Matt Blind

The value of Amazon, like the value of Facebook, exists not in the website but in the user base. Would any 3rd-party sellers use Amazon’s Marketplace otherwise?

Amazon doesn’t market your items. It doesn’t help you invest in inventory, or develop new product lines — in most cases, it doesn’t warehouse the items for you, or help in fulfillment or shipping.

Amazon only makes your item available via a search, and for that privilege, takes up to 30% (or more?) of the sale. And the only value added is that it’s listed on Amazon, where the people are.

Amazon gained an advantage by getting *big* first. No one can catch up without massive investment and years of losses.

Please consider: it’s not so much that you use Amazon: Amazon is using you – and, on your behalf, is doing things you might not agree with

see also: Views inside & outside the Amazon-IPG dispute http://www.shelf-awareness.com/issue.html?issue=1675#m15160



An Elegy Sung by a Mourner Riding the Bookstore Viking Ship, Already Set Ablaze

filed under , 29 December 2011, 12:40; byline — Matt Blind

I’ll save you ten minutes: In this post I vigorously defend the customer service commitment of corporate booksellers, mostly by pointing out just how hard of a job it is.

I might also have a few [mildly] insulting things to say about my customers, which is what readers will key in on, and will raise their umbrage to the point they’ll pack the comments to this post with scathing missives about how I shouldn’t be allowed to breathe, let alone be put into situations where I’m allowed to interact with other people.

Look deep into the mirror, and see if you actually are one of my “customers”. If you are, feel shame; if not, then please laugh and cry with me, for I have a thankless job and have abuse piled on to me besides.

##

The occasion of this post is three unrelated complaints that seem to all have dropped into my lap at the same time, this past Monday:

http://www.kindleboards.com/index.php?topic=96922.0

And these quips, which I saw via @nprbooks on twitter

These complaints, and the responses to them, and other similar barbs casually tossed at booksellers, (and a case of beer) all had me worked up into a fine fit. I had to respond, because someone on the internet was *wrong* [op. cit. http://xkcd.com/386/]

(I took a few days to cool off, but I’m still going forward with the [drunken] rant.)

I’m going to argue this five different ways. In fact, I have to argue it five different ways; you, the reading public, are conflating:

The big box bookstore vs Amazon

The big box vs Independents

The big box vs the Internet

The big box vs its own employees …and

The big box vs readers

##

The big box bookstore vs. Amazon.

So, let’s take that lovely KINDLE BOARD post and parse it:

First: it was posted to a kindle user board.

I know that when I have a customer complaint the first thing *I* do is immediately post on a fan-forum for users of a competitor’s device.

Setting that to one side, though:

- Amazon has no store fronts, so there is no way to visit one on Dec. 24th.
– Amazon does not offer opportunities for non-profits to earn donations through volunteer gift-wrapping in stores.
– Amazon would also not make change for a $5 bill. Indeed, Amazon doesn’t deal with cash at all.

I personally love how the second sentence in the post is, “I paid full cover price,” like this is equivalent to purchasing a First Class airline ticket, or somehow is pertinent to the rest of the events that follow.

Thank you for visiting a bookstore, Geemont, and thank you for buying books. (It’s what we do.) I’m sorry that the ‘full cover price’ is something so outside your regular experience that you felt it was worthy of note. Alas, the only way bookstores can stay open — indeed, to be open on the holiday of Christmas Eve — is to charge the actual price of a book, the one physically printed on the book itself.

Other than noting that your visit was precipitated by the need for a “last moment extra gift”, Geemont, you don’t make mention of the time. Was this in the last ten minutes before we closed the store, or during the mid-afternoon rush with a dozen customers behind you at the counter, or first thing in the morning when the store wasn’t really busy (yet)? December 24th was the second-busiest day of the year for my store, I can only assume it was the same for other bookstores: your incidental request for change while cashiers were busy attempting to ring up other customers during our highest volume of the year can seem trivial to you, but might in fact require a manager to step in.

Past complaining to the “district manager” on your way out [and how did you identify her as such? and why-slash-How did you skip over two layers of management before making the complaint?] — did you allow the bookseller to use established procedures to help you? Or were you just in too much of a hurry to wait an extra minute?

quote from the source:
“But here is the rub: Barnes & Noble is fighting for its life and one of its big advantages is their store fronts. Yet a petty (accounting?) policy of not making change made shopping there an unpleasant experience. In the long run, it isn’t the extra two bucks to charity, but the narrowed minded adherence to bureaucratic polices that ticked me off. What if I only had a twenty? Should I have just stiffed the wrappers? If Barnes & Noble wants remain in the book business they should do whatever to make their retail shops a place where customers want to buy books, especially at full cover price.”

I’ll note again:

- Amazon does not offer opportunities for non-profits to earn donations through volunteer gift-wrapping in stores.
– not least of which because: Amazon has no storefronts. Or booksellers. (would this be an example of Amazon’s ‘narrow-minded adherence to bureaucratic policies’?)
– and Amazon doesn’t make change for $5 either.

I personally would like to invite Geemont to escalate this as far as he can with Barnes & Noble: Rattle the rafters, make the chairman himself respond.

And then, sir, please do the same at Amazon, and demand that they open a nationwide chain of storefronts open at all hours and also up to the very last minute on holidays, so you can rely on them for last minute gifts and never have to shop at Barnes & Noble or other big-box booksellers ever again.

Especially at full cover price.

##

The big box bookstore vs Independents

“My local bakery is so much better than the bread I can buy at the supermarket”

And duh. Local & artisan is better than corporate & national: Which is why Sears and Wal-Mart both went out of business in the 70s when faced with competition on every geographical front by small, engaged local retailers.

Customers say a lot about their expectations and preferences, but they vote with their dollars.

As ‘the enemy’ (a big box bookseller) I get some heat from customers, and some perhaps-deserved insults from Righteous-Independent-Booksellers. Big-Box-Books doesn’t react, doesn’t respond, just isn’t as good as a good local.

Duh. Yes.

But I have to serve the larger community, not just you.

Someone is looking for the works of Spinoza or Gracian – these might not even be in a local branch library, but we have a copy for sale at big-box-books. Someone has to have reference guides on Ford V-8s, Benz Deisels, and Dodge Hemis – and your local library may have ‘em but mine doesn’t, and folks call the store daily. Someone has to stock books on history, ethnography, sociology, architecture, psychology, and how each and any of these might impact urban planning or business retail – and yet, not only is there nowhere else to find the books, no one else is willing to do the searches to find the books.

Your local indy is better at recommending fiction: they not only stock the Booker & Pulitzer Prize winners, they often anticipate them. Your Local is better – for what they do.

But I have know & be able to recommend it all, and then some. You tell me where your local excels, & I’ll come back with the basic knowledge I’ve had to acquire in five other categories that your local doesn’t even stock. There is a big difference between 40,000 books and 100,000 – and I’m being very generous in assuming your local indy stocks that many. Also, as a chain, the first follow-up question from any customer is, “Well, does one of your other locations have it?” — so in addition to my own inventory, I have to deal with what may-or-may-not be in stock at a dozen other locations – many duplicate titles but easily over 1 million books total.

One can maintain that local indie booksellers are better at customer service – & they might be – but smaller indies also enjoy a much lower volume of business & requests.

If I only had to entertain 100 customer inquires in store and 200 or so phone calls per day, I’d seem like an effing customer-service wizard, too. As it is, I’m busy, and frazzled, and there are two more people behind you in line.

##

The big box bookstore vs the Internets

Since you’re reading this on my blog, I can only assume you are at least passably acquainted with the internet. As such, my next point may in fact be lost on you.

No one looks up anything on the internet.

Oh sure, you do. YOU already know how the internet works. Does your mom know? Does your boss? Let’s say your parents are Nobel Laureates and you work for an internet search company — are you saying everyone you know is computer literate? How many of your friends pick up the phone to ask you a computer or tech question, because hey, you’re knowledgeable and you’re a friend and a phone call is easy, right? The answer is on Google, of course, a few clicks away: but that just isn’t the same as asking a friend.

At the bookstore, apparently, I’m everyone’s friend. No One Looks Up Anything on the Internet. If they did, my phone wouldn’t be ringing off the hook all day long. The calls start hours before we open and no doubt continue even after I go home at midnight. It’s not just stuff that a Google search would easily provide, or wikipedia, or say, an author’s or publisher’s website would have; sometimes it’s not even for a book —

My favorite was the call from a mother in New Jersey, who wanted me to recommend a local bakery so she could send her son a cake. In looking up a number to call in Atlanta, it never occurred to her to look up the number for a bakery – she called the bookstore so I could recommend a place. And then I got to use the yellow pages [the actual book] to look up bakeries and give this “customer”[sic] the information over the phone. There is another customer who, having established in her own mind that I was “the answer guy”, would call the bookstore, ask for me personally, and then proceed with whatever query happened to occur to her. Like, how to convert from Celsius to Fahrenheit. Or how to get out of a speeding ticket. Or the song title and artist based on a half-remembered lyric.

Folks walk into the store with truly excellent questions, too. One man wanted a book on ostrich farming. Amazingly, I happened to stock a book on ostrich farming (I was shocked too). I handed the rather slim volume to this customer, who turned it over, read the back, half-heartedly flipped through it, then asked, “But do you have any books on organic ostrich farming?”

More recently a customer asked me for a how-to guide on writing e-books. So I begin recommending several books on fiction writing, and a few on how to write book proposals for non-fiction titles, and a couple on writing memoirs—since I’m not sure what kind of book—and this guy says, “Well, these are OK I guess, but they’re all about writing books: I want a book on how to write e-books, you know?” I changed tracks, and started to recommend books on self-publishing, and mentioned a few websites I know that help authors get ebooks online and onto sales sites, and he says, “No, I don’t think you understand, I know how to get the ebooks online, I need a book on how to write an ebook, see?”

Sadly, I don’t; more disheartening is that this man could even formulate that thought.

##

As an internet-savvy, well-read bibliophile with at least average computer skills, it would never occur to you to call someone for answers. There is a gap, though: part educational, part generational — and a whole lot of folks not being able (or not wanting) to bother. I invite you to work for a bookstore, part-time, just for a couple of weeks, so you’ll know that even when the whole of human knowledge is made available to anyone on the internet, with very minimal effort required, there are still going to be folks who can’t be bothered to make that minimal effort — so long as there is someone they can annoy.

And many of these “customers” get pissy when I can’t seem to find a book that has “The Answer” in it. Or, when such a book improbably exists, they are shocked, *shocked*, that it isn’t in stock, for sale today. Because, after I’ve spent 10 minutes asking questions, guiding the search, resorting to all the resources at my disposal to find a book, “Well if you don’t have it I’ll just order it from Amazon.”

So sad, that customers can not use Google or Wikipedia on their own, but everyone knows how to use Amazon.

##

The big box bookstore vs it’s own employees

Man, I can’t believe I have to defend this crap online — it’s not like I enjoy working for a large corporate beast, But: I need to eat, and the employee discount on books is really much too fine to walk away from.

Let’s assume that a “neighborhood bookstore” exists as a platonic ideal separate from the business and social models that enable it. The bookstore would then be there no matter who runs it.

While this is certainly nice to assume, there is no imperative that insists a bookstore has to exist. Outside of corporate influence and engagement, bookstores are rare and endangered things. Even those of us who love books & bookstores, and who give up other employent opportunities to work at bookstores, and give our all while on the job – no matter how much we sacrifice we cannot maintain the status quo or guarantee bookstores will stay open — as has recently been proven by the Borders bankruptcy.

Corporate bookstores often cut costs by hiring part-time staff. Some of these ‘booksellers’ work for less than 3 months. You can certainly complain about the ‘booksellers’ you have to deal with over the holidays (if that is the only time of year you engage us) as we’re just hiring kids to make do. Even our “permanent” staff consists of folks who, on average, have been with the company less than 3 years. Some are college students, working nights & over the breaks — they were accepted to college so presumably aren’t stupid (…you can argue the point, but this isn’t the essay for that). I have retirees on payroll, and teachers; former librarians and folks who have worked for publishers; staff with graduate degrees, staff currently working on their doctoral theses; writers and artists and creatives of all stripes.

For many, the bookstore is just a stepping stone and a paycheck, an experience that will one day be a source of funny anecdotes for cocktail parties, college lectures, or corporate presentations. Corporate does not pay enough to retain talent. You could argue that Corporate doesn’t pay them enough to care.

Minimum wage does not buy one a whole lot of “buy in”.

It is a rare beast indeed that loves books, loves knowledge and trivia, is willing to work for less money than her skills might otherwise demand, is good with customers, is totally conversant with the rapid changes in the industry, and who can put up with corporate bullshit for more than a couple of years.

Instead, you get me. I’m undiagnosed Asperger’s/autism-spectrum and not only am I bad with people, I drink too much and respond to what-some-call-reasonable-objections to bookstore customer service with drunken invective and wounded pride. I take this personally. I have a passion for the job.

And the next time you need change for a five, you better hope I’m the bitter, pissed-off, overworked bookseller on a register because I am the manager and I am empowered by bullshit-corporate to make the life-or-death-decision to reopen the cash till, and I’ll get you your pesky change, without comment and likely without even making eye contact.

##

The big box bookstore vs. Our Readers

I’m not sure where this perception of hostility comes from. We have opened hundreds of stores all across the country [with outposts in each of the 50 states] and we stock 100,000 titles minimum at each, with magazines, CDs, DVDs, greeting cards, stationary, calendars, journals, and stuffed animals. WE WANT YOUR MONEY. We’ve made the stores as inviting as possible, and don’t even require you to buy anything, a loophole many many people take advantage of daily. We’re somehow a replacement for the library [an assumption that does a disservice to your local libraries] as well as a community center and learning annex.

We Try So Very Hard. …and often succeed — and still get push back from our customers, most often on price. If YOU, OUR CUSTOMERS want to push us out of the business, we’re going to go out of business — but all that “free” that you enjoy does not pay for itself.

“…there is no imperative that insists a bookstore has to exist. Outside of corporate influence and engagement, bookstores are rare and endangered things.”

Treasure what you have. If all you have is a corporate chain outpost – it is your choice whether that bookstore is your “local” or just another soon-to-be-empty storefront. And maybe you could buy something from us once a year – or twice a year, if your ‘once’ is only Dec. 24th

##

Summing up:

At the bookstore, our customers’ expectations are set too high; it would be like having a master chef or food scientist on staff at the grocery store, or top designers and fashion magazine columnists at Wal-Mart, or geologists and civil engineers to sell you fill dirt and gravel. Books are a commodity good (as is perhaps best proven by the price sensitivity of customers) but books are the only commodity that requires expertise & a high level of personal knowledge to sell — and sadly, there are only so many Jeopardy champions to go around.

There are at least six million books out there, in stock at somebody’s warehouse and available to sell. That is out of perhaps nine to twelve million books total (considering books that are out of print but still available used) and maybe as many as 15 million different books, if we consider new e-books and available scans of older books — and that is just the commoditized bookspace and doesn’t include library collections or all the books ever printed, in all their varied formats. My world gets more complex by the day — and yet I have to navigate these uncharted waters every day, in a way that is both prompt and seemless to the customer.

…and on top of that I have to do it in a way that doesn’t make the customer look or feel stupid — especially when the customer is acting (or is actually) stupid.

That’s my 2 cents. I’ll have to owe you the other $4.98.



Self-awareness

filed under , 10 July 2011, 13:32; byline — Matt Blind

So.

Hm.

Let me start by saying I am an angry man. Bitter. Single, with very few close friends (and those from my college days – we have all moved on, some quite literally to other cities) and even with my close friends: we’re not that close.

I am far from a workaholic — in fact, I’ve settled [to an extent] in my career, in as much as I voluntarily work retail.

But I work retail because I love books, and a long-standing dream of mine has been to work in a bookstore, and eventually own one. I’m living the dream; the customers are a necessary evil to be endured.

It might be different if I were a “people person”, the gregarious sort who loves to talk and meet people and ask what they’ve read and what they’re reading, who has a beaming smile to great each and every customer.

I am an introvert, almost violently so, and while I don’t hate people, I much prefer to watch them than interact with them. I can spend hours (days) alone, in my apartment, with my books, and my comics, and cartoons on DVD.

And I’m happy.

It’s not that I need to get out and meet people. I don’t need to ‘try this single’s group, I think you might be surprised’ or ‘just go to a couple of these events, what can you lose’ or ‘just meet people’.

I am not unhappy because I’m alone — I wasn’t unhappy at all, but now I’m unhappy because I’m being forced out of my comfortable nest, I’m being forced to meet people, being forced to make small talk.

I hate small talk.

I’m not just unhappy, I’m annoyed. And I’m getting angrier.

##

How does an introvert and borderline hikikomori cope in a retail job, interacting with people for 8 or 9 hours at a time?

It’s an act. I’m faking it.

You know that one clerk at the bookstore, who always smiles and is polite, with just the right guiding questions, who seems to have read everything? The one you hope is working whenever you go into the store, the one you seek out because he always knows the book even when you can’t remember the title or author? He seems so interesting — if only you could get him to talk a bit more, he surely knows all sorts of things, and must have dozens of good recommendations…

Yeah. That might be me.

I’m polite, but I don’t mean it. Smiling makes my face hurt. And when I walk away after handing you the exactly right book it’s not just because I’m busy (…but I am busy) — I walk away because I don’t like people. Not You; not especially or particularly you, anyway: I don’t like everyone.

…and I know so much about books because I compulsively research everything — I crave data and information like some folks crave chocolate, I might even go so far as to say I need it. I love the internet, it’s chock full of information, it’s a godsend for people like me.

Between the undiagnosed Auspergers, an odd-but-nearly-photographic memory, and a lifetime spent reading: I am perfectly suited to answer stupid book questions; uniquely qualified, in fact. That’s part of the package deal: I’m an introvert, I’m a booklover, I collect and synthesize data as easily as breathing – while retaining enough social skills to be able to hold a job, and to deal with customers.

It doesn’t mean I like it, it just means I _can_.

It is exhausting to act for 9 hours straight. And to do it well enough that no one guesses you’re playing a role, that you’d much rather be at home, alone, reading and not the sunny smile and bright light who lives for customer service.

It doesn’t take much to get on my bad side at work, because I’m already way outside my comfort zone. And it certainly doesn’t help that I’m the manager, so after one of my booksellers makes an honest mistake, or just rubs a customer the wrong way, I’m the one who has to step in and ‘make things right’.

So after a long day at work I’m exhausted from Acting Like An Extrovert, and likely annoyed because of stupid questions, and occasionally grumpy because quite a few customers just suck and there’s no human way possible to make some people happy.

##

I’m not as smart as I wish I were, likely not even as smart as I think I am. (The internet can be humbling; there is always someone smarter than you on the ‘net.) I’m certainly not as witty a writer as I think I am, though I can’t help writing.

And while I don’t enjoy personal interaction, it seems I crave attention on the internet. Maybe it’s the fact that people are removed from the equation: you’re a handle, a nickname, an 100×100 pic and 140-character description. I see URLs and IP addresses in a hit log, not readers. So many hits per day, per month; Google Analytics even gives me graphs.

I did mention I love data. The internet is a game I can play, not a community to be engaged, not a relationship.

##

So here’s the problem:

I’m not a great wit for the ages; I might not even have much to contribute. But I want to play this game — and I can do it from my cave, alone, with beer: It’s Great!

But I have to wonder, even given my dim awareness of societal norms, if I’m doing it right.

I’m sure there are times I’ve just been annoying. Like a little kid wanting in on the grown up conversation, and with as much earnestness and enthusiasm, but also not knowing the rules.

That, and I’m an alcoholic — which is unrelated (even sober I’d still be an introvert) but which occasionally leads to bad judgement.

AND I’m angry. Work makes me angry, bitter, and tired — and being tired also occasionally leads to bad judgement.

I’m thinking it would be best to stop playing the ‘internet game’, at least when it comes to social media. Stick to writing, and data analysis, and my own little projects. Respond when asked questions directly, but give up my attempts to be followed, to be read, to be noticed. Because even on the internet, these new tools still represent personal relationships. Because especially on the internet, it’s far too easy to be a newb, or a troll, or a spammer, or just plain annoying.

In other words, on the ‘net I fear I’ve become much too much like the customers I hate in the store.

##

I will still be on twitter, as it is an excellent way to broadcast links to a self-selected audience, and maybe on Google+ [though Google+ seems too much like Facebook to be of use to me]. But I don’t know that I will ‘be on twitter’ quite as much. Not in the ‘having an online conversation’ sense.

It’s not that I don’t like you anymore, or that I’ve come down with a dread disease and can’t be online. I just don’t think it’s working for me, and it wastes a lot of time.

Even online, it seems, I am an introvert.

##

I don’t need feedback on this; I wasn’t looking for sympathy or asking to be argued out of this. I recognize behaviours I don’t like, and which I’d like to stop. I know some will see me withdrawing and will interpret that as something different, me saying I don’t like them.

For that: I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.

To those I’ve drunkenly tweeted at 1am: I’m sorry, that was my fault.

To those I’ve inadvertently spammed: I’m sorry, but that link/site/story/video seemed really funny at the time.

To those who followed me for the reviews, or analysis, or insightful essays, and who then had to follow me through drunken rants and long asides, and personal digressions: I’m not really sorry, as that is *me* and I’m a package deal, I can’t (or won’t) set up separate channels for everything.

I already have a separate site for reviews, booknom.net, which gets criminally ignored most weeks [I’m working on that] and I have one other site launching before the end of summer [something completely different] — but Rocket Bomber is _me_, with the lumps and the books and beer and the comics and the graphs all inclusive. I can’t figure out how to parse that, and won’t unless someone pays me to do so.

[if you would like to pay me to produce content you can specify whatever you’d like]

So, Summary:

I am an angry man, and a drunk, and I do far too much sharing on the internet.
I apologize for past transgressions, but not really, and can only provide the barest placative: that I know I’ve been annoying and am attempting to not — I can’t correct the behaviour, but I can stop.

And if you see less of me on twitter, now you know why.



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